Reports
by Rainstorm Amaya Arianrhod
Summary: Reports. They fill the hearts and minds of many knights with terror. But Kel has cause to remember a certain set of reports fondly...
1. The Heavens' Curses On Reports

A/N: A K/D multichapter.This is a very early fic. I like to think I've improved since then. Please take such into account!

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine. Satisfied?

* * *

The knock on the door came at a most inconvenient time for Sergeant Domitan, better known as Dom. His pen spluttered and he swore. His (already besmattered) reports were less than half-finished. Kelmight well gut him.

Still swearing, but in Scanran now,Dom stomped to the door and opened it. A first-year page stood outside, looking mildly intimidated. "What?" Dom growled.

The first-year looked slightly more intimidated, but recited his message perfectly:

"Lady Knight Keladry says she does not give a stormwing's that it is Midwinter, and that if Sergeant Domitan does not give her those" -the page coughed- "censored, censored, censored reports by ten bells she will personally come up there, gut him and hang him upside down in the palace gardens for his admirers to see."

Dom sat down heavily and groaned. As a perfect punctuation to the end of the page's little speech, the tenth bell rang. He looked up, and discovered the reason for the page's lateness. He was bruised. And battered. His nose was swelling and there was a cut on his cheek. He had a lovely black eye. Dom's eyebrow went up. "You got in a fight."

"No, sir," the page denied, politely but very firmly. "I fell down."

The other eyebrow shot up. "Oh, yes?"

"Yes, sir," the page said, seeming happy at Dom's apparent comprehension. "Down the stairs. Admittedly, they were very long stairs, and I was certainly unlucky in that I didn't see that large patch of spilt oil before I skidded in it, but nevertheless- I fell."

Dom rolled his eyes. "I am so glad I was never a page. You needn't take a return message; the Lady Knight will probably just gut me. I've nowhere near finshed those reports! Let it be a lesson to you- never irritate Lady Kel, because our dear Protector of the Small (she hates being called that, by the way) does horrible things to those who are crass enough to get on her nerves. Shoo."

The page took the silver noble handed to him, and shoo'd.

Dom put his head in his hands. He was dead. Kel would be so cross –_she looked terrifyingly beautiful when cross_, some traitor part of his mind whispered- that she might just behead him there and then, or get Peachblossom to mash his feet, or make him joust with her (_ow, ow_, his mind said, recalling horrible bruises) or even set Jump and the sparrows on him. With a sigh, he stood up, picked up the reports, and went to try and placate Kel.


	2. A Search

A/N: Helloo! I got a surprising response to my last chapter, seeing as writing-wise (to me) it's such ancient history. So here's your next chapter and there will only be one more. I hope no Kel/Neal fans have wandered in here by mistake.

Disclaimer: Two words; do you think you can manage that? Yes? Good: NOT. MINE.

* * *

The knock on the door came at a most convenient time for Lady Knight Keladry, better known as Kel. It had to be said that the lady knight, who liked to be busy, was bored. Sitting still did not suit her. So she got up to open the door with some relief, not seriously thinking that it might be Dom outside, let alone with a bunch of splattered reports. She smiled. "Are these the reports you owe me?" 

He coughed and shuffled his feet. "Umm... no."

"That's all right- apparently King Jonathan is having a little difficulty getting his head round Lord Raoul's handwriting, so the deadline just went forward. You know the state of milord's handwriting. Horrible. Tortuous, almost. Are you coming in or not?" Kel asked, wondering what she had said that had been so wonderful- Dom looked absurdly happy.

"Coming in," Dom said. "And milord's handwriting isn't horrible, it's not even tortuous, it's horrendous. Where's Meathead?"

Kel sighed. "Meathead is off with Yuki, at a party. I went out for a brisk ride in the Forest when Tobe told me that Yuki was looking for me."

"What party?" Dom enquired. "Raoul didn't look panicked. Nor did he ask me if I'd thought of an excuse. First Company are not polishing anything. They're playing dice games, actually. Buri hasn't invented a sudden, vital exercise for the Riders. The Lioness looked quite at ease when I saw her this morning. I can't hear music. Wouldn't your mother _and_ Princess Shinkokami come looking for you as well, probably with the Lioness in tow,in the event of a party-I seem to recall that's what happened last time? The Lioness's daughter and the Wildmage are outside chattering away to the local crow population- I can't imagine that they'd miss a party... well, the Wildmage might happily, but not the Lioness' daughter..."

"Is that supposed to mean that this party is all in my head?" Kel frowned, reaching for her glaive. Dom ducked behind an armchair. "What? It needs cleaning..."

"It's already positively gleaming," Dom said firmly, taking it from Kel's hands and putting it into a corner. "Shall we go and find our dear Meathead? My aunt says if I let him work over Midwinter again, she'll strike me dead and float me down the Vassa... which would be cold, if nothing else, and quite painful."

"Mmm," Kel agreed absently. "All right. Let's go and find N- Meathead."

Neal was not in the infirmary, the library, the mess or the stables. Nor was Yuki. "This is verging on the suspicious," Dom murmured. "Yes, I didn't precisely expect to find Meathead here in the cold, but still... Kel?"

"What?"

"Copper for them?"

Kel's face was shadowed. Otherwise, Dom might have spotted the tell-tale faint pink blush spread over her cheeks. "Oh, nothing. I think we're going to have to try Yuki's room."

Dom started off. After a few steps, he stopped. "Kel, are you coming?"

"You're going the wrong way," Kel said. "I said Yuki's room and I meant _Yuki's_ room. The official one as one of Shinko's ladies-in-waiting, not Neal's."

"Ah." Dom retraced his steps to stand by Kel.

"This way," Kel said, and walked off in the right direction.

Neal was not in Yuki's room. Or in his own. In fact, no one was in either room. There was a note at the far end of Neal's room, too far away to read. Dom strode over the threshold, yanked the note off the knife pinning it to the wall, and scrutinised it. A spasm of horror and then sheer joy crossed his face, followed swiftly by the silent notion that he was going to kill Neal in the slowest way possible.


	3. Neal Plots

A/N: Dedicated to jedijen66, who mayPM in txt tlk occasionally but is still fun to PM, and who needs to write a bio. The finale of Reports, and I hope it clears up the question of the summary for you, Star ( ).Please review, o readers, anonymous and logged-in alike!

Disclaimer: All the great, wonderful and glorious Tamora Pierce's. Not nice to rub nose in it.

* * *

He re-read the note and grinned, his back turned to Kel so she could not see. "Kel, you might like to see this."

"What now?" Kel crossed the threshold without noticing the emerald shield that sprang up silently behind her. Dom banished all trace of a grin from his face.

Kel read the note. "Dear Kel and Dom, So glad you found this note. Unfortunately, you won't be getting out of this room until you stop being difficult and tell each other how you feel. (And, Kel, using the Yamani mask is cheating.) We have been watching you watching each other for nearly six years and, though it might be highly amusing to watch –Lord Raoul and Buri think it is _beyond_ hilarious, by the way- it is starting to get on our nerves. (Owen just thinks it is _jolly_. I ask you! What of the glories of poetry and variation in adjectives- never mind.) We have therefore decided to nudge, or rather shove, you into action, and we don't really care how long it takes. Although Yuki and I would like our bedroom back before midnight. Midwinter Luck, Neal, Yuki, Raoul, Buri, Alanna, George, Aly, Owen, Margarry.

P.S. Aly was watching you from outside your window, Kel, just so that you know.

P.P.S. When you do get out, we are in Lord Raoul's study."

"I'm going to kill Neal! And Yuki! And Lord Raoul! And Buri! And Lady Alanna! And Baron George! And Aly! And Owen! And Margarry! But Neal most of all, damn his entrails and send him to the Black God!" Kel yelled, after exhausting her vocabulary of Yamani, Tortallan and Scanran curses.

"I'm not," Dom said unexpectedly.

"Why? Wait... you read the note... What? Why?" Kel said slowly, comprehension escaping her, but gradually being dragged out. The same blush that had so traitorously visited her in the stables came back. It seemed totally resistant to a previously emotion-proof Yamani Mask.

"This is why," Dom replied, and kissed her.

It wasn't as if Kel minded, so Dom kissed her again.

"What do you think?" he asked, when he'd finished, and grinned at Kel, who had somehow made it into his arms quite without knowing how she got there.

"I think I might not kill Meathead after all," Kel whispered, and after those words there was no talking for quite a while.

Kel and Dom married a year later, and a year after that their eldest daughters were born. The twins Rihanna and Joann, who were to become a knight and a Rider respectively- in fact, Joann became a Group Leader and later second-in-command. Their only son, Luke, eventually joined the King's Own, and the youngest, Helena, was the only member of the family with the Gift and would, later in life, become head healer. But I believe that Kel and Dom deserve some privacy, and that is why this story ends here, so abruptly, although it goes against the grain.

The fact that there is a sharp object in the vicinity of my larynx has nothing whatsoever to do with it.


End file.
